- Doctor, I’ve swallowed a roll of film.

- Let’s hope nothing develops.

- Doctor, I think I’m an apple.

- Come and sit down. Don’t worry, I won’t bite you.

Sir Winston Churchill was making a public

speech when a woman suddenly shouted out: ‘If you were

my husband, I’d give you poison. Churchill replied:

‘Madam, if I were your husband I would take it.

- How did you know he was a ghost?

- I saw through him immediately.

Waiting in a bus stop in rain, a man gets splashed all over

the place by a passing car. He turns and says to the others

who are waiting the bus too:”In my country if one splashes you,

one takes you to his house, treats you well, puts you up for

some nights and gives you 500euros before you leave.

“”Really,wonders a old man, has that ever occured to you?

“”Not to me, but to my wife, sir!”

How do we call the woman who allways knows

where her husband is and what he is doing?

– “A widow”.

Having been picked up, a blonde tells to her friend:

”You came so early and dashed me, that I forgot to piss myself!”

The friend replied smiling: ” No worries, I shall teach you!”

Passing by a pub, one scot tells the other :

”Would you like a drink, mate?”

The friend answers: ” Yeh, why not?”

”OK then, have one, but dash a bit, because I’ll be waiting for you right here!”

goes on the first one.

Adam asks God:

”Why did you make the women so beautiful?”

”So you would love her!” replied God.

”But, why did you make her so dumb?”insisted Adam.

”So she would love you!” smiled God.